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I went to my four-year-old’s school for a fair some time ago.  There were huge inflatable slides, water guns, ice lollies and bat-shit crazy Moms. Seriously, elbowing others to get your kid first on the trampoline?! Bitch please. (I didn’t actually say that to her. I’m cool like that.)

Anyways, to add to this summer-hazed-candy-tripped crowd, were throngs of teens trying to look edgy, cool and inconspicuous  all at the same time. And I heard them talking. In English. Let me explain. Since this is Sao Paulo, English is not something I overhear often these days. Actually, come to think of it. It’s sad when the art of eavesdropping is totally lost in a foreign place. You can no longer get the pleasure of hearing baffling tit bits of info from snooping on conversations in supermarkets, or in a food court. At least the one conversation I can always make out is the universal lovers gag fest. I love you. No, I love you. No, I love you more. Oh! Just have a baby and throw your mutual adoration in the gutter already!

So when I heard this gangly lot in the school conversing in English, I perked up my ears and tuned in. And I caught some really strange words which I guess are ‘the shit’ these days. I decided to post them out here for educating the other parents who for the life of them can’t figure out anything that comes of their teen’s mouth.

  • Sick – Sick is the new cool. I know. It makes no sense. But really, we’re talking about the age where wearing the right clothes can make or break a day. (Christ!! I haven’t really grown up, have I?!)
  • Ill- Same meaning as above. An example, what I heard: ‘That song is so ill, I just can’t get it out of my head.’
  • Owned – As in, ‘That guy just owned you, dude.’  Beat you.

I’m sure there were a lot of gems in there, but the rest just flew over my head. Can’t blame me! I was busy kneeing someone’s Mom to get my son into the water slide.